.:: A Muslim Knight ::.

2009-06-13T15:15:00.002+04:00

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female--a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good!
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don’t keep asking him, “What are you thinking?” (He's NOT google search button!)
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
a. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
b. Amicable divorce
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug him.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-esteem.
13. Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, inshaAllah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it.
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. If they end up agreeing with you, you will see that it hits you back in the face because you get more depressed that you have a bad husband--and other people also think you have a bad husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a home-maker, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
32. Do all of the above fee sabeelillah and you will see Allah put barakah in everything you do.
33. Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. Do NOT give commands or instructions like he's your servant. “They are garment to each other” [Surah Baqarah, 2:187]
34. Tell your husband you love him, many, many times.

35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter and stronger than him.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health so you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper, inshaAllah you will not get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good mannerisms i.e. do not whine, don’t laugh or talk too loud or walk like an elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisp.
40. Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
41. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
42. Always let him knows that you appreciate him working and bringing home the "dough". It makes it easier for him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday.
45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities, such as new shoes, can be gifts.
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely boring things like basketball or computers.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
49. Try not to go shopping too much ... and spend all his money.
50. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.
51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. (Of course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially your face. The face is center of attraction.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait until matters become worse.
55. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, and every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan. Nothing works like du’ah, and love only exists between spouses where Allah instills it.
56. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you ..." (thats a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have because no one is perfect. If you want perfection, wait until you enter Jannah together inshaAllah--and of course, vice versa!
58. Strive for Allah's love first and foremost! If all wives try to seek Allah's love and pleasure, surely, they can keep their husbands love too. And remember--if Allah loves you, the angels will love you, and the entire creation will love you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband to take to work, from time to time sneak in a little love note or sweet poem. If he doesn't take a lunch, leave the note somewhere else for him to find, like in his briefcase, or wallet or on the car steering-wheel
60. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

81 Ways To Win Your Wife's Love

2009-05-31T22:35:00.001+04:00

1. Make her feel secure, don’t threaten her with divorce.

2. Give sincere Salaams.

3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.

4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.

5. Be generous with her.

6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.

7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.

8. Look good and smell great for your wife.

9. Don’t be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.

12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.

13. A pleasant surprise.

14. Preserve and guard the tongue.

15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.

16. Give sincere compliments.

17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.

18. Speak of the topic of her interest.

19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.

20. Give each other gifts.

21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.

22. Have a good opinion of each other.

23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don’t nitpick.

24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.

25. Expect and respect her jealously.

26. Be humble.

27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.

28. Help at home, with housework.

29. Help her love your relatives, but don’t try to force her.

30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.

31. Remember your wife in Du’a.

32. Leave the past for Allah, don’t dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.

33. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the rovider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.

34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.

35. Put food in your wife’s mouth.

36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.

37. Show her your smile.

38. Don’t ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.

39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.

40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.

41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.

42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.

43. Help her take care of the children.

44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.

45. Sit down and eat meals together.

46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.

47. Don’t leave home in anger.

48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.

49. Encourage each other in worship.

50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.

51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.

52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don’t jump on her like a bull.

53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.

54. Show care for her health and well-being.

55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.

56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.

57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.

58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.

59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.

60. Have a good intention for her.

61. Cook a dish for her.

62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.

63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.

64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.

65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.

66. Send your wife an email without a reason.

67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.

68. Do something for your wife’s family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.

69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.

70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.

71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.

72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.

73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.

74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she’s been reading.

75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur’an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.

76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.

77. Adopt a kitten for her if she likes.

78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.

79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.

80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.

81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).

This article is wide spread. You may have read it somewhere. Catch the second series of 60 Ways To Win Your Husband's Love.